It has been a interesting experience, to really understand that real love is not just a feeling it is an action, and even more it never dies. From my very first relationship to even now I continue to learn the intensity of what love is, and can be, in various forms, from the love of one neighbor to another, to the love of a family, even including the Love given by God himself.
It took until my first relationship to really engage and observe what love really can be defined and understood as, and with every season of life I learn another part of what it can accomplish and overcome. Still to this day I continue to love the girls I have been in relationships with, even though the relationships have ended, I still care enough about them to be the best friend and maybe if possible a bit of family, of sorts. Though they have told me that they loved me, they continually prove that their understanding is not similar or remotely close to the love I have come to know and give.
The end of any lasting and intimate relationship there is a pain, I have come to associate it close to parallel the pain one gets from a good workout. It is still painful yet it means that you truly gave your best and all that you could. In a relationship its different kind of pain, one that you don't know when it will end, or how deep the pain will go. The scariest expeience I have had at the end of a relationship is no pain at all. To rationalize it, it could be noted that it was after a series of failed attempts at making connections work. Still, it was an observation that really meant a lot to me and what I stood for. If there was no pain after a relationship, was there really a connection? Was there really a love between us? Did I actually care for her? These were among many questions raised.
As I continued to engaged these thoughts it was my own conclusion that if there is no pain in attempting a lasting relationship, it is not an absolute definition of not having a connection, but it can also mean there is a mutual understanding that things really wouldn't work and respecting such decisions at the same level.
To this day I still welcome the pain of failed attempts to love special young ladies, but I rather not ever have to know such a feeling ever. The pain is hard to get through even when welcomed. It still hurts, still don't know how long it will last, or how deep it will go, but it is a process of learning of what really giving everything you have, you are, and all that you can be being thrown away. Even though it hurts and continues to tear me down, I will not give up on reaching for the stars to find the one star of a lady, that is meant for me. Just as she is there for me, it is my belief she is awaiting me to come and find her as well.
A relationship that will last, is not just for just one to find benefit, it is a benefit to both and everyone around them. For a true understanding of the act of love gives light to knowing there is no limit to the amount of love even one can give to others.
With an endless supply of love within yourself, don't give up on reaching your star and giving that star a glow that everything will appreciate. The pain is worth enduring for a life of happiness.
- Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional -
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