The Learning Self

Written on: June 28, 2012

Finding out much of a self fulfilling prophecy I am, but unfortunately for me it is up to who ever I am with that I become. I knew I lived for others, but I didn't really understand how far it went. Seeing patterns here in my life such as; I started out as an angry kid continued through my young adult life, went to college where people are social and have fun, all while finding purpose and learning. I get in a relationship and with someone that shows me things I never knew or understood, good, bad, fun or hostile, I thought I was holding on to Me. Come back to where I started and then yet again become nothing more than what I was, adding a little bit of what I gained in between. Went back to college and spent time with a different group of people, new people everyday, but same every week. I am nothing more than what they see in me, I come back to the beginning and wouldn't I know it I back to the origin.

You see me to be a beggar I will be a beggar, you want me to be an idiot I will be an idiot, you think I am a drunk well guess what I am a drunk.

But it goes the other way though is the craziest thing, you see me as a businessman I be the top notch businessman around, you want me as a scholar you will find hidden knowledge that has yet to be found within my thoughts, you think me to have a thirst and craving for life well guess what I DO THIRST FOR LIFE.

All the same I find this out a second to late a penny short, a thought too late. About to become what I am in the eyes of those around me. 

Always knew I lived for others, but thought I was doing it my own way. Huh, guess I am at the mercy of those that surround me.