I Remember

Wasn't that I didn't notice you at first

Wasn't that I didn't liked you at first sight

Wasn't that I didn't enjoy every second we spent together

Wasn't that I was intimidated by your splender

It was that fact that you were so perfect I knew you should have been taken

I remember our first talks

I rememebr you life story before we met

I remember that nights we spent talking until sunrise

I remember my first to shooting stars were with you right beside me

I thank God that there wasn't a third for I surely would have died in your presence

Can there be a reason for our meeting

Can there be a way for you to understand the torment

Can there be a desire within my heart and sould that you won't be afraid of

Can there be a new beginnning to our friendship

Can you forgive me for the way I felt towards you that I could not hold back in honesty

I remember the laughs we had

I remember that I almost crashed from such a joyous time with you

I remember being able to hold you in my arms andthe whole world disappeared

I remember the gift you were in my life to understand and converse with

I remember life was unkind in ending our time too short

How can I go back on my word that I should wait no longer

How can I not hold on to the memories we shared

How can I regret always being honest with you and in the end it was honesty that killed us

How can I stop time from tearing me apart, with each passing day I worry of being forgotten

How may I show that I wish to be nothing more than a source of support for you in life

I remember the torture of listening to what life had dealt you

I remember the fact your family accepted me openly, for which I will ever be grateful

I remember the understanding we had before we even started to hang out and talk

I remember the times we shared caring and helping our friends and each other

I remember the night I left you and regreted it because of the fights that I didn't protect you from

I remember you hiding in my embrace from those you didn't want to see, but you put trust in me

This is not how I wanted us to end, our friendship was stronger than a misunderstanding

This is not how I thought you would leave, in the wake of trying to be thoughtful, you saw my actions as clingy

This is not how I saw you seeing me in the wake of my desire to be there for you, not hold you back

This is not how I understood who you were, a strong, mature, smart, and caring young lady

This is the end that never should have happened

I remember the promise I gave you, "You don't have to tell me to wait I will because I want to"

I remember telling you, "I NEVER want to hold you back, in everything I do I want to support you until the end"

I remember the time I told you I started feeling more for you, yoou space was never more important to me

I remember it wa that day I found out I was leaving, and I thought I dare not let you think I left with out you in mind

I remember leaving a teddy bear with a rose and a card, a meaning resounding with me from a book I read from you

I remember the day I left you cut me out of your life completely

It has never been impossible for me to contact you

It has never been harder not to communicate with you

It has never been a matter of if I am still here waiting for you

It has never been so meaningful to have held to my word against all discouragement

It is only because I truly respect your wishes that I do not contact you

I remember YOU

**** In Detication to Samantha, A Dear Friend Lost ****